It pisses me off that people think you can just BE trans. That you can just decide you feel like the opposite gender (without any dysphoria) like it’s some switch or personality trait.
I had a conversation with someone, they were someone who I knew when was still living as a female and hadn’t talked to since then. I explained to him that I was trans and that I’d like if he’d refer to me as he like I am. He complied with ease but he asked me a question that infuriated me
“Why would you put yourself through that? Like all the surgeries and hormones just to identify as a male just to fit outside of the binary? Like is it worth it just to feel like a man?” I was really angry at him at first and asked him to elaborate and what he explained next made me the angriest of all.
He mentioned various things he’d read on tumblr. He mentioned Auguste and Emery, he mentioned all the people on tumblr he’d met who were trans identifying (including genderqueer, agender, bigender, etc) and he truly thought the only reason people defined themselves as that was because of social reasons, or to break the gender binary.
THIS IS HOW MUCH DAMAGE HAS BEEN CAUSED. He didn’t think surgery was necessary because if you can really just decide you’re the opposite gender then why bother if your comfortable how you are and you are fine with your current body, he didn’t see the point in taking testosterone or estrogen everyday if your own figure was good enough he just didn’t get it.
This is why people who aren’t MtF or FtM using the trans label but me, this is why people saying they’re the opposite gender because “they feel like it” bug me. YOURE MAKING PEOPLE THINK THAT WE DONT NEED THINGS THAT ARE NEEDED FOR OUR HEALTH. If it wasn’t for the fact I knew I could one day transition id honestly kill myself because living in this body is hell for me. And I don’t think people need to want bottom surgery to be trans, I don’t think they need to take hormones to be trans I’m not someone who is here to say
“Your dysphoria isn’t bad enough for you to use our label!1!1!1!”
However I do believe you need some sort of dysphoria to be trans. Because it’s a fucking necessity, it doesn’t need to be to the point of surgery some people I know are fine with binding and presenting as a tomboy for safety reasons and don’t feel the need to go further, there are a bunch of people who just go by male pronouns in the comfort of their own home. Everyone has different degrees of dysphoria and how far they need to take it but the common factor is body/sex dysphoria.
Identify however you want but you have your own label and it is non-binary. And to anyone who identifies as trans because you think it’s some fun personality quirk or think you’re bending the binary you can fuck right off.
Luckily enough I explained to my friend some things ( special thanks to theotheropinion’s helpful FAQ ) but it just bugs me that his opinion is starting to become the norm