I’m going to go on T.
I was gonna wait until Wednesday to talk about it with my counselor, but I guess the first person I’ll tell is Tumblr. Tumblr, you’re such a good listener.
Before now, the decision was up in the air. Because of rugby. It was an accident, but rugby’s become one of the most important things in my life right now. It’s a constant, pretty much. And there’s a bunch of people who like me, I think. They tolerate me, and it’s nice. And also I get to tackle people. (And get tackled. This is a plus because I am a masochistic motherfucker. :D)
But they kind of don’t let you play women’s sports if you’re on steroids. Crazy, I know.
What I could do, if I were on T, is play in pre-season games, practice, and play in any non-league games which do happen during season.
So it’s been up in the air. I didn’t want to make a decision. Though, not making a decision IS making a decision in favor of rugby.
I think getting my name changed legally has affected me more than I thought it would. And also this weird “maturing” thing that’s been going on. (I keep feeling this strange desire to wear matching socks.) Something about “independence” and “control over my life” and “becoming a respected adult in the math field.” Changing my name was a part of that. Also, because it was annoying to have random people at doctors offices and pharmacies know my old name when most of my closest friends don’t. And I think T is ending up being a part of maturing as well. Maybe it also has something to do with looking like an adult, instead of a 14-year-old.
So, I’m going to be our rugby team’s best damn water boy this spring.