30 Day Trans Challenge Day 8: How do you deal with being read mis-gendered in the beginning of transitioning by people?
Okay, well, this is where intersectionality gets involved. Having an anxiety disorder sometimes makes it very difficult for me to let things roll off my back. So, if I’m having a good day, maybe I’ll be able to handle it. If I’m having a bad day, it might ruin that day and make me non-functional.
It also depends who’s doing the misgendering. When it was my rugby coach, it hurt a lot. Especially since she’d still do it after multiple corrections. Her excuse was that I would get misgendered a lot, so I’d better get used to it, and also she doesn’t mind it when people call her ‘he’. Which is fucked up.
When it’s my friends/acquaintances, it hurts because it means that they’ve seen me as female this whole time.
When it’s random people in public, like at the cash register or a restaurant, I don’t care too much. I just say ‘oh it’s he’, and they go ‘oh sorry’. Because my doing that isn’t “Hi I’m trans!!!” Because even if I’m not getting read as the 21 year old man that I am, I might be getting read as a 14 year old boy. Which is okay, I suppose. Though, it is one of the many reasons that it’s important for me to be on T. Maybe I’ll start looking like a 21 year old.
I find that a good way to deal with it is to hang around people who do know I’m male. And if that doesn’t work, ice cream and a movie. Maybe a nap. Just take a break from life. And maybe cry.